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Final update:
Picked up the vehicle today. Finance guy says, 'you've got excellent credit! We can offer you 3.96%!' After informing him that this isn't our first rodeo and he would have to do better, he initially gave us a runaround, and then finally started looking at other banks, and BoA had a 2.49% rate. The wrinkle in our situation is that we had a lease that we were giving back early through the 'Pull Ahead' promotion. Due to that we would have 2 payments plus disposition fee waived (about 1200) but contingent on using BMW FS. We were still not prepared to sign onto a 3.9% rate and negotiated until the finance guy talked to manager and they offered to pay half the fee (about 600) and we would pay half and then we would go with BoA. And all of a sudden just before we were gonna sign the BoA paperwork, a 'magic' option came up where BMW FS could go down to 2.9% and then we wouldn't owe anything for the lease. Therefore despite a slightly higher interest rate than BoA, we made it up by not having to pay the lease fees.
So in the end I have learned that if you go into the dealer with a clear idea of what a fair market rate is, persistence and patience will go a long way in helping you secure a deal. Many thanks to all of you here that have helped me prepare for what to expect.
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