lol should tell that to my boss next time he tells me "this project is due by Wednesday."

Without a deadline, there's no motivation. Without motivation, there is no progress. Without progress, any/all goals, aspirations, etc. go right out the window.

OP if it's THIS bad now and she shows little/no interest, I agree; it's time to bail. What else are you gonna do? "Wait and see" if things change in a couple years? Then what? You end up with kids and find yourself doing, not only all the work around the house, but becoming fully responsible for the kids as well? Nothing worse than a one-sided relationship full of resentment. Holding some random grudge for 4+ days are clear signs of things to come.

Sure, I agree, there has to be a balance; but if you find yourself playing life coach 100% of the time, it becomes an extremely stressful/unfulfilling relationship.

If these values are THAT important to you and she has no respect for you/the fact that you're trying to help her get her $h!t together, I see no other choice here.

Maybe find someone on your same playing field that could motivate YOU in all the ways she cannot/has not up until this point. You'll be much happier in the long run.