What does your wife prefer? You state that it's going to be her vehicle and looking at the builds you have provided, one is all sport and no technology (which you state is an issue with your current one) and the other is less sport and all technology. Based on where you're driving on a daily basis and what you use the vehicle for, you may very well end up using one feature more than the other.
My wife got a loaded 35i and it is awesome. Sure, it's not as peppy as my 335, but that's not its purpose. However, it has enough power to be fun (especially in sport mode) and more importantly, to keep her out of trouble while pulling out into traffic.
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