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I can only really offer advice on #3.... In the 2015 & 2016 models, to get to Siri on the iPhone via the voice button on the steering wheel, one has to hold it down for a second or two, longer than just pressing it, and then when releasing the button, the Siri "ding ding" will play, and you can talk to your iPhone as you normally would. One can even send messages via iMessage this way, simply say, "send text message to XXXX", then wait for the prompt from Siri, dictate, she reads it back, and asks if you want to send it. The 2015-2016 X5 M does not have carplay, so I don't know if this approach is now different in the 2017 models.
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