"Lazy" GF... How to motivate?

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Emilime75

If this how you generally communicate with her, and think it's motivational, you've got some things to learn.

I, for one, would intentionally defy these types of demands from anyone not in a supervisory role...and you're not her boss. Even as a supervisor, motivating someone and stating deadlines can be achieved in a much more productive manner than just barking at them. Not to mention, some clothes and receipts not being put away are quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. You need to assess the entire relationship, including your role in it. Do you love this girl? Why? Are you a dick? Why? Be honest with yourself if you're truly looking for a way to "fix" what you feel is wrong, but, quite honestly, these are really minimal "offenses".

Also, a lack of motivation is often a sign of depression...not necessarily the slit my wrists type, but depression, none the less. There's also seasonal depression, I know I'm effected by it. I don't want to do shit when it's cold and miserable out and dark both going to and coming home from work. My Winters are spent on the couch binge watching everything on Netflix. Come spring, I'm out hiking, boating, swimming, going out, working on cars/projects...Netflix gets cancelled for a few months until fall rolls back around.

Just saying, this might not be "her problem", and/or it might be something she needs a little extra help with that doesn't involve barking orders and telling her she needs to join the gym(when did ever go over well with a female?).

K. Emilia, you and I need to be friends too.

As a rule I want all of you guys read this thread and see how many sides there is to a relationship problem and how all of us with handles I see as female ones are willing to share the blame for.

[Mingwan]

cant assess situation without pics.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Mingwan

cant assess situation without pics.

Yeah, I know. None of us believe a Bp member has a gf.

[qba335i]

Originally Posted by R3dliner

She's a size zero and you're complaining about the gym LMAO. I think you got issues bud. Pretty lame asf.

It's about staying healthy and doing something vs sitting on the couch and watching TV.

We have so many various activities within 5min walk. Yoga, girls boxing, aerial fitness and bunch of places offering total body workouts.

She doesn't have to work out 4-5 times a week...

[UglyBuzzard]

Try the other hole. She will motivate

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by R3dliner

Soooo what's your point? Most guys don't want their gf to go to gym for muscles(besides squats). Usually for weight loss

Guess I'm in the minority then skinny fat isn't really my thing. Women need to have muscle mass just like guys to maintain fitness thru life.

[HXS]

I went in this thread thinking the gf doesn’t have a job and sits on her ass the whole day while you’re at work.

But 50-hour weeks? Wow. She’s just tired/over-worked, bro; she’s not lazy

[R3dliner]

Originally Posted by qba335i

It's about staying healthy and doing something vs sitting on the couch and watching TV.

We have so many various activities within 5min walk. Yoga, girls boxing, aerial fitness and bunch of places offering total body workouts.

She doesn't have to work out 4-5 times a week...

Fair enough. Hey you can stay healthy at home. Do the deed multiple times a day problem solved.
Does she not put out on the reg?

[Lups]

Originally Posted by UglyBuzzard

Try the other hole. She will motivate

I'm not sure how I fell about this tip. Anal goes both ways.

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Guess I'm in the minority then skinny fat isn't really my thing. Women need to have muscle mass just like guys to maintain fitness thru life.

I've never been bulky, and I've never been skinny looking even when I was in anorexia scale. I do agree that women also needs to use muscles but it is hard to motivate one to to go to a gym to get them.

Personally I like doing things with rocks and landscaping or building things from logs. I don't like lifting things that are controlled like they are on a gym but I like making a difference.

[RickFLM4]

I’m thinking the GF started a thread somewhere else with a title like “I think it’s time to move on. What do you think” so I’m guessing the problem should resolve itself soon enough.

[Captain Blood]

Originally Posted by HXS

I went in this thread thinking the gf doesn’t have a job and sits on her ass the whole day while you’re at work.

But 50-hour weeks? Wow. She’s just tired/over-worked, bro; she’s not lazy

I'm with HXS. You can be helpful by revising her resume for her so she can find a more rewarding job. Not that 50 hours a week is that bad. But if she is so worn out by working, she needs to find other work.

[wrickem]

Originally Posted by FCobra94

I guess accountability only makes sense if you're getting paid for it.

Originally Posted by FCobra94

I guess accountability only makes sense if you're getting paid for it.

You've always got to be accountable for your actions, but I'll jump for a deadline set by my employer quicker than my 30 year partner. There are reasons for deadlines, I get that, but the OPs deadline was set just because he thinks it's time, not for any particular reason like company coming and needing the guest room that night.

Different things are important to different people. It seems to me from the original post that neither the OP nor his GF respect each other or try to work through their different styles of life.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

I’m thinking the GF started a thread somewhere else with a title like “I think it’s time to move on. What do you think” so I’m guessing the problem should resolve itself soon enough.

Hastag
#Marriedforalongtime
#wadeswifehastomarryLups

[EnVe46]

Honestly, sounds sorta like my wife but we spend every minute together out of work. I work 70+ hrs a week and shes probably close to 60hrs a week. My wife hates cleaning and doing common "adult" activities but she values TIME together. As others have said, what do you do to get quality time with her? Also, Im serious 100000% curious, how often do y'all fawk? My wife and I think it plays a vital role in a serious relationship as its a time to get grounded and in-sync with one another.

Instead of nagging her to get active, maybe get to know her better? Sounds like yall on 2 separate planets. I do agree that if she can give 100% to her career, she needs to give 100% to you when she's home but theres a line which seems you've understood for the most part. Everyone responds differently to "encouragement" but your way isnt work so try another way. Do you know ANY activities she enjoys or did enjoy before working crazy hours?

The fact she's traveling without you would be a warning sign to me. Seriously, she's traveling places without you, working long hours, doesn't care enough to do the things you need of her- ludicrous or not, not trying to better herself- which Im curious if she even needs to (pics would help) AND would rather chill than try and do something you enjoy, maybe she's moved on already and banging someone else? If you're needing help we need more detail about your actual relationship, like fawking, to give a good read.

[jlstyle]

I don't think your GF necessarily "lazy".
Everyone has their own level of endurance and energy level. Working 50+hrs a week with travel isn't so easy to swallow, especially for female. My wife has 35hr work week and still gets really tired and becomes extremely cranky after 40+hrs week. She obviously didn't want to do anything else than complaining that she wants to quit working. She recently quit her job due to her pregnancy and she totally transformed. She's full of energy now and happy every single minute. I've been with her for 12 years noow and I can't believe she's the same person. Now I know, I should make more money and have her stay home. Just a 2 cents.

[Zara]

It's very difficult to change a person, they need to want to change themselves. But what do I know, I'm only in my mid 20s

[Hawkeye]

I am most surprised by the number of people here that think 50 hours is a long work week... I must be in the wrong profession.

I put in that and get to the gym before work every morning. Working 50 hours isn't an excuse to be lazy.

I agree with the very first post. Move on. I have been there and it drug on too long. Much happier now with someone that has similar motivations as I do.

[Emilime75]

Originally Posted by Lups

K. Emilia, you and I need to be friends too.

As a rule I want all of you guys read this thread and see how many sides there is to a relationship problem and how all of us with handles I see as female ones are willing to share the blame for.

Ha, except that my name is Emil, and I'm a dude. The screen name is a Palindrome and I like lime with my tequila and beer.

[BSM n54iS]

Originally Posted by Zara

It's very difficult to change a person, they need to want to change themselves. But what do I know, I'm only in my mid 20s

Looks like you horndogs got a new 'Sara' to play with ..and she's still in her 20's!? SCORE!

[BSM n54iS]

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Hawkeye

I am most surprised by the number of people here that think 50 hours is a long work week... I must be in the wrong profession.

I put in that and get to the gym before work every morning. Working 50 hours isn't an excuse to be lazy.

I agree with the very first post. Move on. I have been there and it drug on too long. Much happier now with someone that has similar motivations as I do.

Hahaha. I have my mom work which is about 7 hours per day. Then my money making hours that takes about 6-10 hours per days then I have my hobbies and charities that demand hours per day and when ever I'm working I have a laptop in my lap or I'm on my phone when in the woods.

I haven't had a job in the last ten years. I have had two, or four that mingle but I get a steady two hours of sleep every day and I have plenty of time to be lazy while on conference calls.

For work per week I'm going to have to count the weekend hours too I do to make it to 50 if I'm counting only work hours. Thank coffee I'm my own boss so I can be lazy.

My husband goes to the gym every day before work. I go for a run with our dogs while he brews his coffee.

I'd rather eat shit than go to a gym. And I'm not getting an office job and I like my charity work. My dogs are trained companion dogs so I take old people out to walks while I keep on reading some stupid stats.

You won't ever catch me folding laundry. Fuck that shit. I'm not exactly great at cleaning either but I cook (and I'm an ingredient racist) and in most days I don't cost money to the family.

But anyway. I actually work for money too every fucking day, and i don't keep a cent. The op could be married to me.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Emilime75

Ha, except that my name is Emil, and I'm a dude. The screen name is a Palindrome and I like lime with my tequila and beer.

Sadly you being a dude doesn't matter as much if you can accept a dyslexic as a friend.

Read the thread, you would not be alone, and it's not a hit on you.

As for the rest of the Bp posters: If I assume you're females: Just give that small comfort to me! Stop telling me facts if not in the politics side!