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Another couple good ones:
We had to build a lot of scaffolding to do jobs and one of them had cross bars that were a little low, probably 5'5" or so. After we built it the officer on watch came up and complained that it was a safety hazard and we needed to fix it. We couldn't change the platform height so we went back to the shop and grabbed a bunch of one inch foam sheets and wrapped the entire scaffold in foam. I also made a sign to hang on the bar that said "WARNING: SEVERE HEAD TRAUMA" and had a stick figure bleeding profusely from his head. His only response was "You guys are assholes" as he walked off shaking his head.
Another job we had a Lieutenant approach us, 3 guys standing around with chainfalls, shackles, straps and other assorted rigging gear, and ask "Are you guys the riggers?" I responded "Sir, we prefer to be called lifting and handling Americans."
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