Thanks Cnote and Asiann! I think I will be stuck with PMI because I won't have a HELOC since I'm currently renting - but from what I've calculated it shouldn't be more than $150 at worst considering a maximum loan of $300k.
It's little amusing that LendingTree pre-approved a loan for me based solely on my assets - they didn't seek information regarding debt and monthly expenses.
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I'm sorry about my outlandish behavior - there's too much blood in my alcohol system.
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