I've been an Android guy since the G1 came out, but most of what killed the iPhone and made it worthwhile in the early years has become standard features on new phones on both platforms, and the rest of everything else isn't that impressive to me.
I got an XS Max for my birthday/Christmas last year... The camera quality is great, and it doesn't take a nosedive in speed and performance after its first year of ownership and a pile of hot garbage on its 2nd year (much like the phone the XS was replacing; the 6S company phone I also had still handled everything perfectly despite being a 5 year-old phone at the time... The rest of the reason I switched is a long story).
Although the night mode and 3rd camera is tempting (especially since I try to have a photographer's eye when I do take pictures... I don't claim to be a pro but do I regularly get compliments,
so...), it's not enough to convince me to trade it in and spend an extra several hundred bucks to get the newest toy.
If the night mode for photos is made available across the board via the iOS 13 update (or at least to the XS), then all the temptation I have to switch phones is gone; I can make do without the 3rd camera, and everything else about it is kinda "meh" to me.
Come to think of it, I also would've loved to have USB-C since I have LOTS of things that are USB-C (flash drives, adapters, portable amp, and even Anker braided cables instead of the flimsy OEM ones from my Android days), but apparently Apple is still sticking to Lightning, which also would've swayed me a bit.